


Ethan Choi x Reader

by chantalis



Category: Chicago Med, One Chicago
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28871760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantalis/pseuds/chantalis
Summary: A collection of Ethan Choi x Reader fics that are also on my Wattpad (chantalis) and Tumblr (anotheronechicagobog)
Relationships: Ethan Choi/Reader, Ethan Choi/You
Kudos: 5





	1. Moving On

2020 had thrown everyone's plans off-kilter, and that included April. She had planned to win Ethan back, but that wasn't exactly working out. Ethan was chief now, which meant he had extra responsibilities. But that was fine, less time didn't mean no time at all, so long as his new job was the only obstacle they'd face. But it wasn't. April shifted her gaze from the charts she was reading to glare at her newest problem; Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, head of pediatrics and ex-navy seal. Just what she needed. Ethan and Dr. Y/L/N didn't work together often because they were in different departments, but sometimes their cases overlapped. That wasn't how they met, though, unlike most of MED's internal relationships. They met at the park when Dr. Y/L/N's dog, Rex, recognized Ethan at the park. Apparently, Rex was a retired Miltary Working Dog and had been assigned to a friend of Ethan's, and Dr. Y/L/N had adopted her when she retired. Ethan had formed an irritatingly sweet bond with both the dog and her human in the last four months and it drove April crazy.

"Stop glaring." April was dragged out of her inner turmoil by a frustrated Maggie. "I mean it, April. Stop glaring at her. She doesn't deserve that."

"But-"

"Okay, April, I have tried to be supportive and nurturing and understanding, but I'm done, okay? I'm done. We are in the middle of an international pandemic in a country with one of the highest mortality rates, I do not have the ability to deal with that and whatever Grey's Anatomy nonsense that's floating around the hospital. I'm sorry, but you and Ethan are over and that is largely your fault. Stop acting like a jilted teenager and grow up. You have a patient in three, they're presenting three COVID symptoms; sore throat, difficulty breathing, and loss of taste."

"Maggie-"

"Go. Now."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Y/L/N was thankfully on her own floor and away from Ethan. He'd just finished with a patient so April gathered herself and approached him, hoping they could steal away for a few minutes. "Hey, Ethan, I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee? The cart outside-"

"I've already had my fill. But thanks, April." He refused to meet her eyes and because he was wearing a mask, like all of the staff, she couldn't completely gauge his response, but April didn't let that deter her. "Oh. Well, maybe we could get some takeout after shift, then? I really want to-"

"April... Please stop."

"But Ethan, we haven't been alone together in so long, we can't talk, or makeup or anything."

"Don't you think that was the point? We're done, April. We're broken up, and we're not getting back together."

"Why not?!"

"April, don't make a scene. We are at work. We are nothing but colleagues now, and it is inappropriate and insulting for a colleague to speak to another this way." Ethan turned and walked to the nurse's station and the only reason April didn't follow was a levelled glare from Maggie.

She regretted that when she saw Ethan and Dr. Y/L/N leave together, talking about picking up pad Thai on their way 'home'.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ethan wasn't working today. And for once, Dr. Y/L/N was called down to the ED without Ethan there to greet her. April felt the adrenaline pumping through her. Today was the day she'd put an end to whatever was going on between that... Witch and Ethan. "Dr. Y/L/N?"

The woman turned from the computer she'd been using at the nurse's station to file the patient transfer for her eight-year-old dialysis patient. "Yes?"

"May I speak to you in the lounge for a moment? It's important."

"Of course."

When they entered the doctor's lounge April whirled around and jabbed a finger into the doctor's chest. "Stay the fuck away from Ethan Choi, he's mine!" The other woman didn't so much as blink. Instead, her eyes looked bored as April stood in front of her, fuming. "So that's what's so important, huh? Claiming Ethan despite the damage you caused? Not only is the reason you asked me in here completely absurd and unprofessional, but there's a pandemic going on and you're a nurse, you know that you need to be six feet away."

"It's not 'absurd' and I'm not backing down. Ethan and I love each other, this is just a bump in the road."

"If this is a bump in the road, I'd hate to see a pothole."

"If you don't stay away from him I'm going to make your life a living hell." Dr. Y/L/N schooled herself, looking at April in that cold dangerously confident way she'd seen villains regard their enemies in movies. "Is that a threat, nurse Sexton?"

"It's a pr-promise."

"Are you sure about that? You seem incredibly nervous, maybe this is just stress?"

"No. It's a promise. A damn promise that I will do everything I can to make your time at Gaffney your worst nightmare if you don't leave Ethan alone."

"Oh, is it? Well, let it be known, April, that I didn't fire first." Then she turned and walked away, leaving April confused but proud. She would finally have Ethan back. After months of heartache, she would have the man she loved back.

She smiled, at herself and the weight that had been lifted off her shoulders.

Too bad it was a preemptive celebration.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Usually, for New Year's eve, the hospital held a big party in one of the auditoriums, had tables set up in the break rooms for those who had to work. But COVID had yet again screwed up everyone's plans. So instead, there were no big parties, no tables with food or drinks, just some decorations set up and that was it. No one was supposed to take their mask off bless they were in a designated eating/drinking area or they were outside the hospital. And the only time they could take off their mask around people was if they were in the same social bubble. April and Ethan weren't in the same social bubble but that was going to change after the clock struck midnight and this hellish year would finally be over.

The ED was quiet for once, and a few people had taken advantage of the emptiness to duck outside and kiss their SO. April had expected Will and Natalie to leave together, this year had been hard on the married couple and they were doing what they could to stay as positive as possible. What April didn't expect was for Ethan to trail out behind them. She hadn't asked him to go outside with her yet, she felt her stomach flutter. He was back. Her Ethan was finally back. April darted out after him, bursting with excitement. She and Ethan were going to have their midnight kiss and then get back together. She slowed her steps when she reached the small garden at the side of the hospital. She composed herself, taking a steadying breath. She didn't want to look haggard or frazzled when Ethan saw her. But as she entered the garden's flower arrangements, her heart plummeted. Ethan stood in front of Y/L/N, with his mask off and his phone on a decorative stone playing the countdown. He leaned in just as she did, drawing her closer with an arm around her waist and cradled her face with his other hand. God, April felt like she was going to throw up, her insides felt like they were on fire. And after their lips finally met, after April had to witness the emotion and love that radiated around them, she couldn't take it anymore. She ran to the nearest trash can, ripped off her mask, and threw up.

——————————————--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April made good on her promise. She cried in Doris' arms and wept about how Ethan was stolen from her. Within the hour nurses in all departments had been called to arms, you were officially an enemy. But what April didn't know was that she was too.

It started with the silent treatment from Nat, continued with a scoff and roll of the eyes from Crockett and any doctor in the vicinity when she tried to make small talk, and it ended when three days later Maggie pulled her to the side and told her to call her union rep and meet in Goodwin's office at noon the next day. "What? Why?" Maggie froze mid-turn. She straightened to her full height and met April's confused expression with a ruthlessly expressionless one. "You should know exactly why, April. I told you to stop, I told you to behave yourself. Why didn't you listen?"

"What did she do? What did that bi-"

"She didn't do anything! But you did April, you did and now you have to face the consequences."

"Maggie-"

"Call. Your. Union. Rep. Now." April ducked her head slightly, the reality that she might actually be in trouble settling in. But she was just defending her boyfriend, her love, she hadn't done anything wrong... Right?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April had expected that she would have to face you in the meeting. Look you in the eye and stare you down. But you weren't there. She walked in with her union rep and sat at the other side of the table as Sharon, Peter The Stressed Out Lawyer, a woman whose demeanour screamed HR, a man wearing a doctors' union polo, and Ethan. Y/L/N was nowhere to be found. She tried not to let her surprise show, but Ethan rolled his eyes so hard his body shifted with them, so she clearly hadn't been as discreet as she'd hoped.

"Alright, everyone's here, let's get started. I am the hospital administrator, Sharon Goodwin. I am joined by Peter Kalmic, one of the hospital's lawyers, Helena Lopez from human resources, Timothy Gunan from the American Doctor's Union, Geraldine Landings from the nurse's union, April Sexton, and Dr. Ethan Choi, the employee who filed the complaint for which we are here today. Let's begin. Dr. Ethan Choi and April Sexton began a relationship two years ago which has since ended and the two have remained separated and uninvolved for several months. As per their relationship professionalism form they signed with HR when they started dating, 'in the event of relationship termination, the parties of this contract agree to honour and uphold the hospital's code of conduct by remaining respectful and professional'. Dr. Ethan Choi, do you feel as though you have upheld this contract?"

"Yes. I do." His voice was even, cold. He kept his eyes straight on Goodwin at the head of the table. "April," when April turned to the older woman she considered a friend, she didn't see sympathy or understanding playing in her eyes. Only frustration, and April couldn't help but wonder if maybe it was because of her. "Do feel as though you have upheld this contract?"

"Yes, of course, I do."

"Do either parties want to dispute anything that has been said?"

"I would." Ethan raised his hand and everyone but her collectively sighed. April still had hope that this meeting was about them reinstating their relationship officially at work, but as she watched Ethan's face, she could see the angry micro-expressions slithering under his skin. He was angry, and she didn't think it was at Y/L/N. "April Sexton has not upheld the contract we signed with HR. April has been harassing me for months insisting that I take her back after she participated in some... Indiscretions that caused our relationship to end. I have since moved on and recently started dating someone new, Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, the head of pediatrics. Five days ago, April threatened my girlfriend in the doctor's lounge. Telling her to stay away from me and that there would be consequences if she didn't. Three days ago, nurses all over the hospital have made rude comments and gestures towards my girlfriend, refused to work with her on cases, and she has 'accidentally' been pushed or knock into far too many times to be a coincidence. All on the grounds of being a 'homewrecker'. April's behaviour and the behaviour she encouraged from her colleagues was disrespectful, unprofessional, and it has created a toxic work environment."

April was speechless. Couldn't he understand that she loved him? That she was doing this all for him? So that they could be together again? Have a family? "Do you have any proof, Dr. Choi? These are some hefty accusations, we can't just accept hearsay in an official complaint."

"I have several written letters from doctors, orderly's, porters, and the head nurse in the emergency department. All attesting that they heard nurse Sexton threaten Y/N very loudly in the doctor's lounge. I also have print-outs of some emails that were sent to some of the staff and three nurses in Y/N's department, all from nurse Sexton telling them that Y/N had been 'blacklisted' and was an 'enemy' of the nurses, and letters from more staff who witnessed Y/N's harassment for the past three days." 

"Please distribute those papers amongst the union reps, Ms. Goodwin, myself, and nurse Sexton." Ethan nodded and followed the lawyer's order, the room was deathly silent, the only sound coming from the rustling of papers. He didn't even look at her when he handed her copies. And as she looked at them, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. It was all there. Every word she'd said had been heard crystal clear. She didn't even try to be vague in those damn emails. Not even the linen service workers had been fooled by all the 'accidental' bumps and shoves. 

Her union rep side-eyed her and subtly shook her head. April nodded, message received. This is bad, I could lose my job, I could lose other people their jobs, and in the middle of a pandemic no less. "I also want to make it clear that neither Y/N nor I want April to be fired. She is a good nurse, and quite frankly we're already understaffed as it is. What we want is for April to leave us alone, call off the dogs, and get some counselling provided by the hospital. We'll both sign whatever to make that happen, but we just don't see the need to bomb her career over this. We just want her to stop."

"Thank you, Dr. Choi."

"Nurse Sexton, is there anything you would like to say?" She looked at her rep and bit her lip. "Can I have a moment outside to speak with my union rep?"

"Absolutely."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"April, what do you want to say?"

"I love him, I did this for-"

"April! You could lose your job over this! You could be sued, by Dr. Choi, Dr. Y/L/N, and possibly the hospital! Please, for once, think clearly. I strongly recommend that you do not say that, any of that."

"Well, what should I do, then?"

"Go in there, apologize, do what they ask, and accept their conditions. You dug your own grave, April, you should be grateful that they're giving you this easy of an out."

"It doesn't feel easy... But okay."

"Good."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April had never felt more humiliated and small in her entire life. Having to send out a hospital-wide apology email was bad enough, but looking Y/L/N in the eye and- oh the memory was just to painfully embarrassing to remember, it had April shaking her head and focusing on the door in front of her just to stop remembering. But the worst part, the worst part, was having to promise to leave Ethan alone, and when she got her next schedule, she noticed that they had moved to a different time slot so that she almost never work the same shift as him. It was hard to stomach and she spent the first week after trying to vomit all over her shoes.

When she was leaving her shift, she'd see them coming in, when she was arriving, she'd see them leaving. It drove her nuts, they were always together, always holding hands, looking at each other lovingly. She tried to take a deep breath and just keep moving but the sight always knocked the wind out of her. And she couldn't go to any friends about it because they were all on different shifts for the most part, and she hadn't been able to make new ones because they'd all gotten that email. April felt like she was swirling the drain and sometimes breathing felt like a chore. Dr. Charles had been conducting her counselling sessions, and while he says they're making progress it certainly doesn't feel like it. 

"April, it's always darkest before dawn. It's going to get better, sometimes it just has to get worse first." 

April was sick and tired of wading through the darkest blindly and alone. When was dawn coming? Hadn't it been long enough?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THREE YEARS LATER

Maggie flitted around with Natalie, flooding her dress and touching up her makeup. They stepped backend admired their handiwork, their joy completely and utterly contagious. "Okay, look in the mirror."

"What do you think?"

April turned and felt herself go speechless. This truly was the most expensive dress she'd ever worn, but that wasn't even a thought that crossed her mind. Her wedding gown was white, and fluffy, and sparkly, and everything suddenly felt so much more real. In half an hour, she was going to walk down the aisle to the love of her life and a new chapter would begin and she couldn't wait. She found herself void of the butterflies and nerves others had talked about, instead, she found herself plagued by impatience. Why did time pass by so slowly?

"Well, what do you think?"

"I've never felt this amazing, or this excited before."

"He's not gonna know what hit him."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ceremony had been everything she'd ever dreamed about. Her fiance- sorry, husband, had never looked so awe-struck in the entire time she'd known him. Their vows had been beautiful and loving, and leaving the church knowing she was going to spend the rest of her life side-by-side with her soulmate brought peace to April's soul.

She and her hubby were currently in the task of going around to everyone, thanking them for coming, when they got to table seven out of twenty. Y/N was the first one to greet her. "April! Congratulations, that was such a gorgeous ceremony."

"Thanks, Y/N!" They went in for a hug but couldn't exactly get their arms around with how big Y/N's bump was. The woman huffed. "I feel like an overstuffed dumpling."

"Well, then you're a glowing overstuffed dumpling. You're getting close to your due date, right?"

"Yeah, we're one week away, I can't wait to meet them."

"That close, huh? I'm actually surprised Ethan let you out of the house, last time we talk he was really enforcing that 'house arrest'."

"I may or may not have roped his mother into telling him how ridiculously over-protective he was being. Oh! They're kicking, want to feel?"

"Oh, they're strong. Now I see why you're so eager to meet them, you want them to be able to kick Ethan too instead of just you."

"Yup."

"Hey! Congrats, by the way, April, the wedding was wonderful. I'm glad that you're so happy."

"Yeah, I'm glad that we all got the happy endings we needed." And as April's husband lead her to the dance floor when their song came on, she couldn't have felt her words to be more correct. She was married, she had patched things up with Ethan and Y/N after a year or so, and now they were also married and expecting two babies. Dr. Charles had been right, the darkness always proceeds dawn, but sometimes the darkness was worth it. He kissed her and she snuggled into his chest. So, so worth it.


	2. Love and Lies

Can you do an Ethan Choi x reader where they are best friends and she tries to tell him about April kissing Crockett but he doesn't believe her and behaves rudely with. And afterwards, he breaks up with April after finding out the truth and he apologizes to her. Just some fluff in the ending.

You sighed as you collapsed back into your chair, the force causing you to wheel backwards into your desk. “Ow, fuck.” You collected yourself before someone from the team saw, they’d never let you live it down. Just in time too, as Hailey burst through your door. “Y/L/N, we need you to run some financials and internet history on a suspect, David Johnson, male, 42, DOB 20th of September 1978.”

“Got it.”

“You okay? You seem down.”

“No, but it’s kind of personal. And not my personal, someone else’s personal. Long story.”

“Oh, well I hope it works out. And if you want to get your mind off it we can go out with Kim for deep dish.”

“Thanks.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Crockett Marcel joined the staff at Gaffney medical centre you not only befriended him quickly, but you had also been trusted with a secret you couldn’t keep. April Sexton cheated on Ethan Choi with Crockett Marcel. Ethan was a tad older than you and a serious navy vet, so you didn’t have a lot to bond on at first. It was when you’d run into each other at your favourite Italian restaurant after you’d both been on god-awful blind dates that your friendship started to bloom. The restaurant had been packed and there wasn’t room for both of you to have a table to yourself. Even though you didn’t know each other well, it seemed like the best question. It became a tradition for you two to meet up after blind dates or setups and decompress. It helped deal with the fact that neither of you had friends good at match-making. 

When you’d caught April at that party your heart broke for one of your best friends. You didn’t know what to do. Ethan was in love with April, above all else, and he wanted to marry her. He’d asked for your and Maggie’s help with ring shopping. You knew that things were a little tense between them, but you’d always thought so highly of April, you never thought that she would do something like this. And to make things more difficult, you were under a bit of a time crunch. You had to tell him soon or he’d be upset that you’d kept it from him. And he had been deployed for two months with no contact. He was coming back in a couple of days and you weren’t sure how to break it to him. You knew that it would be best if April was the one who told him, but she’d told you outright days after it happened that Ethan didn’t need to know. But she was wrong and you knew it.

Ethan deserved to know that the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and have children with ‘accidentally’ kissed someone else. It broke your heart but you had to tell him when he got back.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He’d been back for three days and still hadn’t seen you. Citing ‘April this’ and ‘April that’. And while you could understand one day, three was suspicious, and you knew that April was trying to keep him away from you. You were furious, how dare she cheat on him and then try to cover it up. 

You’d dropped by med later that day when you texted Ethan and he actually said yes. Apparently April had to work a double so he was free from her clutches. When you arrived at the entrance in your car to pick him up it was quite clear that she was trying to stop him, visibly panicking and grabbing onto him. 

“Ethan are you ready to go?”

“NO! He- He’s not going. He... Is going to work another shift. Or go home. Just... He is NOT going anywhere with you!”

“Why not, April?”

“Because... Because she... She’s in love with you!”

“What?”

“You think I’m what?”

“Yes! She told me at Crockett and Maggie’s party after you left! She said that she was going to try to come between us!”

“I did not say that. I saw April kissing the new doctor, Crockett Marcel, at the party he and Maggie threw. I tried talking to her about it, but she said that she and Marcel didn’t think you needed to know.”

“I can’t believe you Y/N.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard him Y/N.”

“I didn’t say any of that. I don’t love you, Ethan, not romantically at least, she is lying. I know that this is a she said, she said situation. We’ve been so close for so long, I wouldn’t do anything to cause you unnecessary hurt or drama. You have to know that.”

“She accepted my proposal, Y/N, and she’s been trying to warn me for days. I didn’t listen to her because we’ve been friends for so long, but you coming at her with an outright lie just proves she’s right. I can’t believe you would do this.”

“But I didn’t.”

“I don’t believe you. I... I am going to go home, and I think you should stay away from us Y/N.” He stepped beside April, slinging his arm around her waist and staring you down in that cold, navy, disapproving way. It physically hurt your heart and you could feel yourself gasping for breath. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t really remember driving to your apartment, but you do remember Ethan not leaving April’s side until you were in your car and driving away. Your body shuddered and convulsed as you tried to muffle your own cries. Ethan had spent weeks searching for the perfect ring, smiled dreamily at the thought of having children with her. It ripped you to pieces that April threw it all away and that Ethan didn’t believe you. After all the years you’d been friends, all the time spent together, and he didn’t trust you. He didn’t hear the wavering and panic in April’s voice, the floundering in her normally collected sentences, and the visible queues that showed she was grasping at straws. 

Three heavy knocks later and Hailey was picking your door lock. You really need to give her a key. “Y/N how are you? I heard what happened.”

“Seriously? Everyone knows already? I knew that everyone would hear about some variation of what happened, but it hasn’t even been an hour!... Does everyone know?”

“Yes. I heard about it from Mouch when he dropped some lunch off for Platt.”

“Oh my god... Do you believe me?” You must have looked so pathetic, like Bambi asking for his mother. “Yes. I know how much his friendship means to you. And I know that you aren’t in love with him.”

“I’ll take the deep dish pizza now if you don’t mind.”

“Kim’s bringing it. And red velvet cake.”

“You guys are the best.”

“We know, now where did you put the tequila you got from Mexico?”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Molly’s had become your favourite pub since you first got the job of ‘thank the heavens that Ruzek doesn’t have to do tech stuff anymore’ in intelligence. The drinks were good, the food was good, and the staff was always friendly. Since your confrontation with Ethan and April, you’d avoided going. Any time you’d seen Sylvie and Emily at spin class they shot you awkward glances and actually asked you what you thought about the weather. While they’d stumbled through an explanation that they weren’t taking sides you just wished a hole would open up underneath you. You stuck close to Kim after that. Med as a whole was a mess of hatred and anger towards you. Apparently Doris had even gathered some nurses together to refuse to treat you if you ever came in. And they were always making snappy comments to the rest of the intelligence unit whenever they had to be there, and Jay got into a fight with Ethan. You’d apologized profusely to your team but they would hear none of it, they believed you.

It had been three months and you were feeling so lonely and depressed. You’d lost over half of your friends in one day, you were isolated and exhausted. You worked long hours and had no one to decompress with, Trudy was still setting you up on terrible blind dates, and while you’d been eating there by yourself since Ethan and April started dating, being alone and feeling alone were two different things. Now you were in a rut. Just floating through existence. And you didn’t hate it. You didn’t feel anything actually, and while it didn’t scare you, it did scare your remaining friends.

You would see a therapist, but because American medical coverage is so screwed up your insurance only approves doctors from MED unless it’s an emergency and MED isn’t the closest hospital. So despite the fact that all your co-workers were on edge worrying about your mental health and how it affects the rest of your well-being, they couldn’t pressure or push you into getting help because there were some doctors and nurses who had outright said they wouldn’t help you. No matter how scared they got or how tempting jumping off a building sounded to you. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone was banging at your door. At three in the morning. If this had happened four months ago you’d be grabbing your bat. Now, you were too tired to give a fuck. The knocking was staggered, in rhythm and noise level. So whoever was on the other side of that door was probably drunk out of their mind. You went a little out of your mind when you saw the man standing in front of you. The man you’d gone out of your way two avoid since his and Maggie’s party. Crockett Marcel. Red eyes, puffy cheeks, slurring nonsense and all.

“I-- M, *hic* sww. I srry. Sorry. Kigg.”

“Why don’t you come in?” You helped an incredibly inebriated Crockett Marcel to your couch. “I sy- swww-”

“Go to sleep doc, you need it.” You moved a garbage can next to the couch and put a blanket over him. One of your best ones, soft and fluffy. One tall glass of water and a couple of Tylenol were placed on the side table near his head before you went back to bed. This’ll be fun to talk about in the morning. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning arrived with the smell of drunken sweat in your living room. Your late-night visitor was on the precipice of waking up, rolling around and fidgeting, trying to get comfy. Though you suspected the hangover was hindering that. You sighed, deciding that you’d wake him up after you finished the pancakes. Sizzling butter and batter wafted into your nose as you carefully placed chocolate chips in the image of a smiley face, hoping that would at least stave off the awkwardness. Crockett kept swearing in French and moved to cover his eyes with a pillow. You laughed as you flipped the last pancakes onto one main plate. Walking over to your guest you pondered how to wake him up. Screaming in his ear? No, too cruel. Pulling away the pillow? Still too mean. Telling him you’ll eat all the pancakes if he doesn’t get up? Perfect. “Marcel, if you’re not up soon, I’m gonna eat all the pancakes I made. And you can’t get mad at me for it.” You sauntered away with a smile on your face, silently hoping that he wouldn’t wake up so you could have all those pancakes to yourself. Soft and buttery, slathered with Canadian maple syrup.

Unfortunately, that was all it took for him to get up. Groaning and moving sluggishly, he made his way to your kitchen island and sat on the other side of the corner. “Thank you. I’m sorry about last night, I just... I feel really bad.”

“About what in particular?”

“Kissing a woman who was already in a relationship, not saying anything about it to the rest of the hospital, causing you a lot of trouble, and... Falling in love with the woman who’s life I ruined.” You froze mid-chew. His troubled eyes were boring into you. “Me?” While your question was muffled by the combination of pancake, syrup, and butter it got across. “Yeah,” he chuckled and smiled softly at you before tensing, “don’t worry, I know you don’t love me. How could you after what I did? Plus you’re in love with Choi-”

“No I’m not. That’s just something April said to cover up what happened.”

“Do you really not see it or are you just denying it?”

“I’m not denying anything, Ethan is- was. Was one of my best friends. And I miss him.”

“Miss him how?”

“He has such a calming energy, like the eye in the storm. Yes, you know it’s gonna get crazy again, but you appreciate the peace it brings you. Even if it’s only for a few moments. He was always so serious, which I like cause I’m serious too. The only jokes he knows how to make are puns, everyone else hates them but I love them. Ethan... He makes me smile, my life hasn’t been the same since he left it. It’s... duller without him. My heart physically aches most times.”

The realization was sudden and terrifying.

“Oh my gods...”

“There it is.”

“I am in love with Ethan.”

“Finally.”

“I am a horrible person.”

“Wait, what? How do you figure that out?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The week following your revelation was hard. You felt terrible, despite Crockett’s assurances, you worried that you insisted on telling Ethan the truth because of your feelings. While your head knew that wasn’t true, that you were happy to see Ethan happy, your heart worried. You didn’t know what to think of yourself if you had subconsciously ruined your best friend’s relationship.

Intelligence had also caught a hard case. Cases involving kids rarely ended well and since this one involved a child trafficking ring and identifying all of the perpetrators and victims, your days had been filled with the screams and cries of abused, exploited and tortured children. You felt like your soul needed to be deep cleansed. You’d found all the children and identified two hundred and thirty-three children so far, another eighty-seven to go. Everyone, including Voight, had been much gentler around you. Normally he hated going down to your office because you’d decorated it with colour, things that make you happy, and just generally didn’t look like the office of the tech expert of Chicago’s most elite law enforcement team, but he’d been coming down to check on you and drag you upstairs for food and water. It had been a nice reminder that you weren’t completely alone, and that not all of the world was built with evil and fear. 

“Y/L/N, we got ‘em. And SVU ID’d the rest of the kids. Families have been called. You should go home, get some sleep. And the meticulous notes you keep qualify as a report, so you’re done. Don’t argue. And eat a vegetable.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Yes, dad.”

“Don’t use that tone with me young lady.” A smirk briefly played on his lips. You laughed, grateful for the position he had in your life, and walked up to the bullpen with him. When you reached the top of the stairs you were greeted by chaos. And not the usual chaos. Jay looked like he wanted to punch a hole in a wall, Hailey was being held back by Adam and Kevin as she cursed and tried to claw at whatever was in front of her, Rojas and Kim were debating the pros and cons of using a police baton, Trudy was pinching her nose and looking like she was restraining herself from shooting everyone, and the SVU agents looked confused and a little afraid honestly. “What’s going on here?” Everyone parted like the red sea for their boss to reveal Ethan Choi. “You have got a lot of nerve to show up here.”

“I’m just here to talk to Y/N. To... Apologize.” You could tell by his sunken features, red eyes, and bloody knuckles that he knew. He knew that you told the truth. Pain danced around like a musical behind his eyes. No matter how empty he had left your life you never wanted him to feel the way he clearly did. However, you weren’t in any mood to deal with this. “Guys, let go of him, you’re scaring our guests. Ethan, can we talk tomorrow? It’s been a long day and I’m really tired.” You didn’t even wait for a response, just walked out from behind Voight and right past everyone, only stopping to say goodnight to Trudy on your way out.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning you woke up... Warm. It was the first time you’d felt something other than emptiness since the whole debacle began. Your apartment smelled good, like fried butter. You quirked your eyebrow, hearing sizzling coming from the direction of your kitchen. You doubted a criminal would break in just to cook breakfast and only three people had a key to your place. Hailey, Ethan, and Voight, given to them in that order. Hailey only really knew how to cook greek food, Voight never used it unless it was an emergency, and despite all that had gone between you two, Ethan never gave his copy back. Leaving your aluminum hello kitty baseball bat by your bed you make your way to the kitchen. Ethan stood in a Navy t-shirt and jeans in front of your stove. Three pans in front of him, one with scrambled eggs, hash browns, and pancakes. “Morning Ethan.” His head slowly turned to meet yours. “Good morning Y/N... Uh, it is tomorrow...”

“It is. What’s for breakfast?”

A slight smile picked up, some weight lifting off his shoulders. “My specialty. You up for it?”

“Always. Uh, Crockett told me. I’m sorry, I want you to know that I did believe you, I just-”

“‘Didn’t want to.”

“Yeah. I’m also sorry about the treatment you received from everyone, really. I told April not to involve anyone else, but she started screaming it from the rooftops the second she could. I know that there were people who didn’t want to take sides but they ended up doing so anyway. I’m sorry about that too. I’ve heard a lot, I know how isolated you became, so I know that it will be hard to forgive me. If there’s anything you want, anything I can do, please tell me. I’m sorry.”

“Did you make enough breakfast for both of us?”

“Of course.” Smiles were met with smiles as Ethan placed all of the hot food on serving plates.

“So now that you know, what’s happening with you and...”

“I broke up with April. I’ve known for a couple of weeks actually, I just... I tried to work it out with her, tried to move past it, but I couldn’t. It was too much, I was too betrayed. Not only did she cheat on me with a man who had just moved to this region of the country, she lied about it, and did everything she could to frame and torture you for what she did. I just woke up one day and I knew I was done. We’d been trying to have a baby but when I stopped focusing solely on having a baby I realized that I didn’t want that with her. She clearly doesn’t love me if she was able to do what she did, and not only would a baby not be able to fix our relationship, but it would be cruel to drag a child into that.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, Ethan, I just thought that you deserved to know, and I’m so sorry about the pain that this situation has dolled on you.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two months had passed and you were re-adjusting to having all of your friends back. From most you’d received an apology and a drink at Molly’s (that had not been a fun hangover), from Sylvie and Nat you had been given homemade cookies in lieu of alcohol, but for the most part laughter and a hug was more than enough. There were few though who didn’t apologize to you and glared at you with hate-filled eyes. You had expected April to be doing that, but most of the nurses were sticking to their guns with her. It didn’t matter that Crockett had come forward, or that she’d admitted it had happened and that she’d lied about you, or that you weren’t the only person who saw that kiss as it turned out, they held you responsible for April’s reputation taking a hit and Chexton’s break up. You had a hard time caring, though. April made a mistake and no matter how much she lied or tried to hide it, it still came out. It wasn’t your fault that she cheated on Ethan, or that she had actively made everything worse.

Ethan and you had been making up for lost time, going to the zoo and aquarium, binging Grand Tour on Amazon Prime, and eating at your favourite Italian restaurant. It felt good to get back into your rhythm, having an unofficial schedule to organize your time together. Today Ethan was waiting for you to pick him up from work so that you both could go see the new baby otter at the aquarium. You had pulled up in front of Gaffney and texted him saying that you were outside and waiting. Just after you’d clicked send there was a knock on the window beside you. You jumped, whipping your head around to see April staring at you with her arms crossed and her chest heaving. Steeling yourself, you exited your car. “Hi April.”

“Really? That’s all you can say? You ruined my life and all you can say is hi?”

“April, I’m sorry for how hard everything must be for you right now, but I didn’t ruin anything. That was all you.”

“If you had just left it alone everything would be fine!”

“April-”

“NO! If you hadn’t insisted on telling him I wouldn’t have worked so hard to make everyone hate you, everything would have been fine. But you just had to go and destroy everything!” April started to cry, tears flowing down her cheeks as she hiccuped and wrapped her arms around herself. You couldn’t bring yourself to be angry, your lives were always filled with drama and pain, and sometimes you felt like you lived in a procedural soap drama, so you couldn’t blame her for holding onto her happiness for dear life. You sighed and reached for her, “come here.”

The two of you stood like that for several minutes until Ethan approached you both with his eyebrows raised. “April.”

“Ethan! You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you, never wanted you to find out!”

“... That’s terrible, April. Look, I’m done. We’re done. Please, just let go.”

“No, I can’t! I love you!”

“No, you don’t. If you loved me you wouldn’t have kissed someone else, or lied about it, or tried to silence and then blame Y/N. What we had, it wasn’t love. We loved each other once, but not in a long time.”

“Ethan-”

“Y/N and I have plans, April.” April shoved you off of her and rocketed away from you violently, sprinting to the ED as fast as she can.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were on a date. Sort of. It had been a year and a few months, close to two years, since Ethan and April split and everyone knew the truth. Hailey, Kim, and Vanessa were constantly on you about dating, setting you up onblind dates, signing you up for dating apps, and introducing you to random guys they happen to meet who are single and cute. Ethan quietly asked why you didn’t just date someone to get them to stop. Crockett (who, much to Ethan’s dismay, you’d become good friends with) laughed and offered his services as your boyfriend with a wink. He meant it as a joke. It was a joke. But now, as you were standing by his side in a gown with his arm around your waist, you wondered if he actually was joking, or if he was flirting and you just didn’t pick up on it. When the fancy schmancy business guys left Crockett turned to you with a weary smile. “Thanks, again for coming with me. Goodwin would’ve had my head if I came alone.”

“Well, hey, like you said, this’ll get the girls off my back.”

“I have to admit, I did have an ulterior motive for asking you- don’t panic, I’m not going to profess my love for you or anything. I’ve moved on from you actually. The ulterior motive was to make Choi jealous.”

“What?”

“Look, you love him, and he loves you. I can see it, and so can everyone else. However, it has become apparent that neither of you plan to do anything about it. It has also become apparent that Ethan does not like it when I... do anything that involves you being near me honestly. Least of all that we’re actually friends. He gets jealous, very easily. I was hoping that you being my date for the evening would make him do something about it. Plus, you’re gorgeous and intelligent, the perfect companion for another dull gala.”

“Crockett, he doesn’t-”

“He does. Even April sees it.”

“Crockett-”

“Ah! Dr. Marcel, there you are. I have been looking for you, I want to discuss the hybrid OR project you’re working on with Dr. Rhodes.”

“Of course. This is my date for the evening, Y/N Y/L/N, she is a senior investigative digital analyst with the Chicago Police department.”

“A pleasure.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All in all, you’d had fun at the gala. The booze was free, so was the delicious food, and while you didn’t like dressing to the nines all the time, it was fun to do for one night. The gala had been held at one of the fancier, older, expensive hotels on the waterfront so you and Crockett snapped some amazing pictures. Ethan didn’t do a lot on social media, it just wasn’t his thing, but he texted you seconds from when the first photo was posted to tell you that you looked stunning. You were a bit disappointed, hoping that Crockett had been telling the truth when he said that Ethan loves you. You sighed and shook your head before exiting your office to grab a snack from the breakroom. You didn’t have a case so it had just been a paperwork day, Hailey held up her mug for you to grab as you walked past her desk to the breakroom. You grabbed a bag of chips for yourself and had just finished Hailey’s coffee when your phone rang. “Hello?”

“Hey girl, look I’d love to chat but this is a business call.”

“Oh?”

“Ethan and Crockett got into a screaming match outside of the ED, Ethan got so angry and went to storm off but he turned around and ran into a concrete pillar.”

“Oh my god.”

“He’s fine, got a few scrapes, but he seems really out of it, we don’t think he should be driving. You’re his emergency contact, can you come get him?”

“Yeah, I’ll just let Voight know, I’ll be there soon.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maggie met your eyes and pointed to a room that had the curtains closed. You darted in, finding an annoyed looking Ethan lying on the bed with his arms crossed. There were a couple of light scrapes but no other visible injuries. You’d gotten him back to your apartment easily enough but he was completely silent. “Hey-”

“Do you love him?”

“What?”

“Do you love Crockett?”

“No! He’s a great friend but he’s not my type.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Where is all this coming from? And why did you get into an argument with Crockett?”

“I, I have been going out of my mind since I found out that you were going with Crockett to that fundraising gala. I can’t lose you! And especially not to him.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Ethan. Goodwin told him he had to bring a date and he knew that the girls were breathing down my neck. It wasn’t a big deal, okay? Ethan why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I love you. So much.” You didn’t respond with words, just latched your lips onto his. The rest of the night was filled with nudity, moans, groans, ecstacy, and whispers of love and promise.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two months later you were being dragged into the ED by a worried Ethan. Before started dating him you’d been friends with him long enough to know that just going along with whatever he needs to feel better is the best option.

“Nat, something’s wrong with Y/N.”

“What makes you say that?”

“She’s been throwing up at all times of day for the past week, can’t hold down food, and she fainted this morning.”

“Alright, let’s get you in a room. Maggie?”

“Treatment four.”

Once you were in bed and had blood drawn you took Ethan’s hand. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.”

“Worrying about you is my job as your boyfriend.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have news. Good news.”

You and Ethan looked at each other as you clasped your hands together and sat up straighter. “You’re pregnant. Eight weeks along by the looks of it. Congrats guys, you’re going to be parents.”

Ethan sprung up and started kissing you all over your face. You had never been this happy in your life. Suddenly he stopped. “Are you okay with this? Being pregnant? I don’t want you to feel pressured-” You grabbed his collar and pulled his face to yours. Kissing him deeply, and lovingly. “Ethan, I am so happy. I have always wanted to be a mother, and now I have the chance. With the man I love. This is the best day of my life.”

“Have I told you how much I love you today?”

“Yes, but I’d be overjoyed to hear it again. And again, for the rest of our lives.


End file.
